The day's lesson was that there really is no IHOP on Colonial. They lied. Even though we missed out on IHOP, we discovered that while Angel's isn't really a place I'd like to eat every day, the pancakes are decent and Lavon is cool. He ate Jenny's bacon. And he didn't fall for my shit. We tipped handsomely.

Late morning, we headed out to the con which was at the Marriott. It was not terribly small--but smaller than San Diego and pretty much what we expected. I'd say there were maybe 100 or so booths. Most were retailers but there were some publishers like Top Cow, Awesome, Dreamsmith Studios, Crusade and others.

We cased the joint for a while, checking out the wares. We ran into David Wohl who used us. I think he was trying to avoid people and the only way he could do that was to keep moving, i.e. wander around with us. Needless to say, we took advantage of him...err...the situation and told him exactly what we like and dislike about Top Cow's current titles. I think he took us seriously. But one never knows with David.

A bit later on at the Awesome booth, we ran into David Chapman. He was looking for a blonde and a redhead. We were looking for a broken and battered guy with a Witchblade statue. We all got what we expected. Jenny was blonde, I was a redhead and he was pretty banged up, having been recently run over by outlaws. LuniSharon hadn't arrived yet.

Pretty much all we did on Friday was canvas the convention, buy some stuff and thank god that there were panels to occupy our time on Saturday. There's only so many times you can walk past 50 million TVs all playing South Park. We were supposed to make plans to go out for dinner with some people that night but after we putzed around and had a snack, we fell asleep. So much for big-time plans. Social butterflies need sleep, too. And moths.

We started the day with a panel--Boris Vallejo and Julie Bell. I don't particularly care for their work but I liked hearing what they had to say. Vallejo was an interesting guy. Not that Julie wasn't, but no one asked her any questions. Except the annoying kid who sat behind Jenny. He asked her about a Gambit card. And he asked Boris if he'd please, please, please, please, PLEASE do Batman. I wanted to smack him.

Directly following that was the Top Cow panel. Always a pleasure. I think we asked the questions nicely even when we were crabby about the subject matter. Like when Jenny brought up the color change on the Darkness poster? She was really nice about it. Sr. Smith knew he was in trouble though. And it was particularly amusing when someone asked if they ever gave Jonathan directions on the coloring and Sr. Wohl said, "Yeah. Water is blue." Maybe you had to be there for that one but it was funny at the time.

David Chapman showed up at the panel, as did Mikey PympSeal and LuniSharon. The group was complete. We talked a while and wandered around some more. A bit later, there was a panel discussion with Joseph Linsner and Drew Hayes, two of the scariest looking men in comics. Of course, Jenn and I made a spectacle of ourselves by giggling. I was laughing at this guy's sideburns. I don't know what Jenn was laughing at but she covered our asses well.

We went down to the artist area, did our wheeling and dealing with Randy Green, who will hopefully pencil an upcoming Tales of the Witchblade, and had our Linsner incident where he asked Jenny to pose. We're still not entirely sure how to interpret the event, but it was cool nonetheless. I mean, what if it's some big, cheesy pickup to get Jenny naked? If Sr. Linsner ever does get off his ass and call her, I'm going along. Not to see Jenn naked. Nope. Not me. I'd be going to protect her.

That night, we met up with Sharon, David C., and David W. to go to dinner. Derek Gonzalez, a Top Cow crankyperson, was in the hotel lobby as well and came with us. That seemed rather odd since during the day when we told him he was welcome to come, he didn't look that interested and it was even more odd since the entire night he didn't look like he wanted to be there.

We went to Pizzeria Uno where I had the most sour margarita of my entire life. But I'm glad I didn't get the melon margarita because that tasted too sweet. I guess the moral of the story is if you're at Pizzeria Uno, don't get a margarita. Get a Long Island Iced Tea. And yes, Sharon, that does indeed have alcohol in it. :-Þ After dinner, we wandered around Church St. Station and I learned what a humidor is. I lead a sheltered life. We also saw saco del toro--giant buffalo scrotum. We were duly impressed.

We ended up at the arcade where we played skeeball and such. They threw us out at 1 so we wandered some more until Matt suggested the crazy piano bar. Matt was a Wizard lackey who ditched me and Jenny when he found out we didn't work for anyone important. At least I think that's why he ditched us. Jenny pointed out later that I might have frightened him when I told him about saco del toro. Fine. If the boy can't handle talk of giant scrotum, he ain't worth hanging around. Since no one really wanted to go to the gay-until-2-and-then-techno bar, we decided to go to the crazy piano bar instead. However, they were carding and we couldn't get in. The group split and the children headed back to the hotels.

So Jenny, Sharon and I walked David C. back to his hotel, with a slight detour to take our photos with the Spawnmobile. Then we went to our hotel. I ain't gonna tell you what we did then.

On Sunday, we sorta wandered the con some more--the usual wind down. We got some good last-day deals, scammed some free shit from the Top Cow booth and watched Mike Turner sketch. Too bad we got there after they cut the line off. Next time I'll get one of my own.

I also kinda eavesdropped a bit. I'm so nosy. Sosumi. Rob Horan from Sirius/Cosmic Therapy came up in his librarian cardigan and talked to Top Cow's Director of Marketing, Kate Sherwood. He ended up buying a bunch of the Fathom previews and Witchblade ACE editions. Good choice that. I really love that ACE. Like Jenny, I'm a sucker for acetate but I also love those flames. Sr. Smith is a modern day god. Sometimes I look at those really pretty pink and purple sunsets and think, "Eh. Smith could do better." Ma says I'm going to hell.

The MegaCon ended as they all do...with a fizzle. Sunday's kind of a dah day for conventions. I don't know why that is, it just is. The vacation did not end with a fizzle though. The fun was just beginning.

We celebrated the end of the MegaCon by having dinner at Jungle Jim's and partook in the infamous giraffe three way lovefest. The food wasn't too bad, but if I ever went back it would be strictly for the plastic animals. My giraffe and elephant sit by my monitor along with my lizard, cow, yellow dinosaur, fangs, mini-tabasco, Iz and that cute little Cyberforce bug guy. On the other side of the monitor sits my picture of renaissance Allan and dark haired Jenny. Rowwwwl!

And now for the best part...we headed out to the Zuma Beach Club for an evening with Vanilla Ice! Ice ice baby!!! Yeah! We laughed most of the night. I felt so sorry for him. I mean, he's basically a has-been. Now, to be cool he has to play 18+ clubs and rap about drugs. "See a bag o' dope, pick it up, yo!" But he did Ice Ice Baby so we were happy. And how often do you get to experience big time cheesy nostalgia like that? "Rollin'...in my five point oh..." It was classic.

And that was pretty much it. We said our goodbyes on Monday and departed for our respective homes. It could have been longer and Sharon could have stayed in our room so she wouldn't have had to spend most of her time and money in a taxi, but all in all, it was swell. I'm thinking the MegaCon may become an annual thing. It gets my seal of approval.

Hmm...it had its good moments and its bad. I was supposed to fly in Thursday, but unfortunately, Wednesday night we got hit with a small snow storm. I had to reschedule 'cause the roads were still too bad for me to drive to the airport Thursday. I was NOT happy. All must share my misery. I complain to everyone within earshot (and some not who can't avoid me online or on the phone! Heheh) Aghhh! How dare the world do this to ME! The best way to handle this is to share A LOT of misery with many...um...fortunate people who enjoy me ranting (they just don't want to admit it.)

While driving to the airport I realized I forgot my camera. Life sucks at times. I arrived at the airport with plenty of time to kill. I kill it by scheming on how to take over the plane...least till I fall asleep for a few mins. (Hey! It has been a VERY long week with little sleep!) I am awakened by this nice lady who had to spoil my mood by telling me that 1.) the plane was going to be late arriving to pick me up (and delivering her husband and daughter.) 2.) They don't allow "visitors" in the cockpits on a "tour" anymore. Aggh..now I have to think of another way to get in the cockpit! Darn it. For those who haven't realized, this is my first time on an airplane so I am looking forward to hijacking...er...giving this a whirl.

The plane arrived an hour and half (roughly) late. I have fun watching the passengers load in. People are fascinating to watch. Trust me, they entertain greatly if they don't think anyone is paying attention. Humans amuse me A LOT. Specially biz people who think that they are going to die cause they are late. Strangely enough, they lived. Can't have everything, now can we?

I spend most of my time looking out the window and looking for an opening for my gambit on the hijacking of the plane. We have turbulence at times which I thought was great, but for some reason didn't seem to sit too well with some others who HAVE been on planes before. Wusses, the lot of them. I am also betting that Jenny, Chapman, and Duda all think I won't be there after not seeing me today at the con. I wonder if they are holding bets. Who won? The wankers won't tell me, darn them all! I think it is cause they know I would demand my share of it on helping them win. Only fair IMHO.

I arrive later than intended in Orlando and have a WONDERFUL time getting lost there. Getting lost is fun. Like an adventure to explore and discover the strange and stupid things that go on in places like airports and the like. Also a great way of finding out that NC doesn't have a monopoly on stupid cabbies. The dispatcher tells me that I sound like I am from Texas (????) and then gives me the wrong place to meet the cab. Lots of fun carrying luggage like that. Plenty of exercise! Oh yeah. If I wasn't tired before...sheesh. But things are cool. I am in Orlando where the con is so I am doing better than my planned trips to SDCC and Toronto cons last year where I had to cancel both on the last days! Woohoo!

I decide to go straight to my hotel (as the con is closed it being VERY late night). Another recommendation of a fun activity, try taking a shower while falling asleep. Drowning seemed highly likley. Makes things...interesting. A challenge. Yep, don't ya love that. I then spend the night being awakened by dumb family members that call throughout the night (see if they get my # again) to make sure I got there and to ask really dumb questions that can wait till the next day. Also thrilling enough, a bunch of college kids on spring break keep me awake partying all night long by running and stuff right outside me door. Murder becomes the word of the VERY early morning. I even get wakened at somewhere around 4 a.m. or so by some idiot puking (he is one of those that sounds like he is hurling up a lung...maybe a kidney, too) in the room beside me. I have NO sympathy for him whatsoever. Wonder why...

After that wonderful night sleep, I decide I have to get up and make an attempt at being presentable. This is not an easy thing as I am NOT a morning person. People have been known to die for just smiling while passing me by at this time of the morning. Any time I wake up, it is TOO early. Sleep is a hobby of mine. I am thinking of making it a career. Doesn't help that my contacts and eyes decide all of the sudden that they hate each other. I am stuck wearing my glasses. Wonderful cause that means I spend half the time trying to find where I packed them.

I go to the gift shop of the hotel and buy a disposable camera that doesn't work as I find out later. Lucky for the gift shop it was closed when I got back otherwise the dude in there would have been all over the shop...literally at the same time.

I go around glaring at everyone and thinking of various ways of killing my cab driver who is taking me to the con center. He has got it into his head to lecture me on...EVERYTHING! He even informs me I should bring a jacket cause it is cold right now (it is in the 60s! Gimme a break.) I of course ignore him as I do any living thing that dares to talk to me this early in the morning. I figure spending time in jail in Orlando would not be fun for killing him...though the thought was tempting as I admitted before.

I pick up my pre-paid tickets (no way I am standing in line dammit) and proceed to immerse myself into full comicaholic mode. This means scope out the layout, check where all the exits are for a quick get-a-way and then mark my victims. The first day of a con is to price check things. Many booths of course price their wares too high, but a few here and there you can find good bargains or things you (okay, I) need. I hit one retailers booth that has a friend of mine I know from AOL and who I had met at the Heroes Con '97. Jimmy Jay, his mom and Amanda who is an amazon. Darn it, doesn't she realize NO ONE is allowed to be taller than me? Agh...she is cool though so I let her live. I yell at JJ (whoever said I was quiet?) and introduce meself. Surprisingly he says he remembers me. Amazing, isn't it? He hooks me up with some goodies as well as Youngblood 1+ draw-your-own-cover (a friend wanted a Ed McGuiness Sketch on it). I proceed to hit the other booths that I need. You will all be happy to know that no blood was spilled...for the most part. My family insisted I leave my baseball bat at home as they remember my philosophy well on how to...persuade some to lower their prices or to just gimme a sketch now dammit! My family has no sense of humor at times, ya know that? Geez..like *I* would do that for real?

By then, it hits around the time I was supposed to meet with PympSeal (Mike) at the Topcow booth. It was still early there so no one but Kate and Derek were there to represent the cows. I had a vague description of Mike so I basically just assaulted...er...asked a few boys who looked his age if they were him. They dared to look at me like I was crazy (imagine that) and said no. I wondered if one was Mike and he was lying to me. Just as I was going to get mean I noticed a boy standing over at the Wizard booth (which was right across from TC's..and man, did they have some idiots over there at Wizard). I attacked...er...calmly introduced myself. Amazingly, I hit the jackpot. He confessed (though I still wondered if it was all a diversionary tactic to let the real PympSeal get by me..but soon that was forgotten.)

We decided to go out to the place where they had a little teensy weensy place to eat in the center. I met his dad there who was very cool. How many fathers do you know who would be willing to let his son meet a luni and actually talk to a luni without his eyes glazing over when she goes into comic mode? Me and Mike basically then ignored the poor man to swap comics to look over. (Hey! We have priorities here!) Then Mike and me hit the topcow panel after a while where I had the suspicion I would find my favorite redhead and blondhead. See, being the brilliant person I was, I forgot to set up a place to meet them or a time. Nice, eh? But a luni can't be hidden from. I figured out who they were almost immediately. Especially when Jenny told JD Smith (very cool dude, btw) that she wanted to know whose lame idea it was to change the colors on that infamous darkness poster. Heh, I think ANYONE from the list would have known who she was with that one question! Course, the cows basically blamed everyone else for the idea for awhile. They are so brave! I was so impressed! Heheh

After the panel, I went up and introduced myself to the ones I was willing to be a devoted luni to. They were exactly as I expected them to be. Goddesses. They introduced me to the fellow who surprisingly turned out to be Mr. Chapman. David had me fooled you see...I thought he was this old geezer from his posts. Imagine my surprise to find he is as much a young comic geek as the rest of us. Everyone then sort of migrated back down to the booths to hassle the cows among other things before we lost David somewhere before we attended the Sirius Panel with Robb Horan, Drew Hayes, and Joe Linsner (a jenny fan as we later found out...got good taste, don't' ya think?)

Heh, basically this was the most amusing panel I have ever attended. The three kept me in stitches. Seemed to have an affect on Duda and Jenny, too. Too much of one as Joe asked them what they found so funny. Heh, luckily, I was behind this REALLY big person who blocked me from his view. Being the loyal person I am, I prepared myself to be entertained as the two tried to get out of this one. Jenny did a nice job here and managed to get themselves out of it.

After the con was closed for the day, we got together with a few of the cows and Mr. Chapman again. David Wohl and Derek (i never did learn his last name so now I look ignorant darn him..then again, some would say I am like that all the time) were the victims who didn't know no better..oh..I mean the cows. Poor Derek didn't seem to know what to think of all us (or maybe he did and just was being polite.) He sort of hung on the outskirts for the most part of the conversations. Funny guy though when he would join in. Wohl...heh...Wohl is Wohl...if you've ever met him, you know what I mean. Fun as heck and quite willing to slaughter people at arcades. No mercy in him I tell ya. Mandi was just like him, she was quite willing to take advantage of me being a skeet Hockey virgin. It was fun, and I did pretty good there from the middle to the end till Jenny distracted me by taking a picture of me (I know it was planned...I was finally getting somewhere and flash..all gone.) I figure I got to demand a rematch next time. I shall slaughter everyone I see.

Wohl, Jenny and Mandi all gave me nice presents. A green dino (Bigleboo), a red lizard (Lola who got jealous of the giraffe I got the next day) and a bracelet. Wohl went to a lot of trouble to pick things. I like a man who puts a lot of thought into such matters.

We finally got kicked out when they closed the place up. So rude to do that, don't ya think? So headed for food! All that bloodletting at the arcade activated the beasts we fondly call our stomachs. It was here that I learned I have an addiction to pizza that has mushroom and spinach on it and that on some things Mr. Wohl has no taste on. He don't like mushrooms! Can ya believe that? Ack! I was SO disillusioned to hear this. I was traumatized. More so when I realized that none of the rest of the twits at the table comforted me in my time of need. They remained oblivious to my pain. All must die!

We basically went from club to club thereafter searching for the ever-elusive Gay-till-2-then-turns-into-a-techno club. We picked up some wizard lackey along the way...I can't remember if his name was Mark or Matt. He was basically busy with Jenny and Mandi till they scared him off with talk of a set of hairy buffalo scrotum. A bull. I think it is called Saco del toro. It was either that or finding out that they weren't in the "biz" and were just comic geeks. Not long after that we lost Wohl, Derek and the wizard fellow to some club which was RIGHT beside the restaurant we had just ate in. Heh, life is funny at times. We prayed for their souls as they braved it all alone and proceeded to let Chapman shield us from the evil elements in the city on the way to the hotel. Or maybe he was protecting them from us? Many strange things happened during this time and after that are not meant for mere mortals to hear. So frag off! Nah, just kidding! Some of the stuff there are pics of involving the Spawn mobile ..we just skip to the next day.

It is morning...again...why? Why? I hate 'em. We all hate 'em. I still hadn't gotten any sleep (as to why...heh...I admit or deny nothing!) and was a bit grouchy with the cabbie and all who dared to smile at me. I got awakened sort of unpleasantly too in the fact that the maid ignored the sign on the door and opened the door anyway scaring away 1 year of my life as I was thinking the hordes of hell had finally found me. (Hordes are pretty bad cause they never take baths and like to annoy the luni by asking her dumb questions.)

One weird thing happened when I picked up my "bracelet/ticket" for this day at the pre-paid booth. The one who played the doc on Lost In Space (something duda actually tells me she has never heard of!) was there at the booth. The fellow checking my name said I had an extra ticket and asked if I had missed a day or something. I had and told him that my plane was late. The actor took my hand and said VERY sincerely, "We missed you". The ticket fellow gave me a weird look saying, "Huh?" I gave him one of my "don't look at me! I know nothing!" looks then thanked Doctor and told him I missed them, too. He patted my hand and smiled and was all happy. I proceeded to take my missed self and vamoose into the main area before I got it into my head to start quizzing the poor fellow (with the sort of questions running through my head) it wouldn't have been good.

The con was sort of dead Sunday. Most are from what I hear. I stopped off to get sketches for a friend who requested them. They were real good on some. Andrew Robinson (Dusty Star, Magic cards, Kabuki: Masks of the Noh with Snapdragon) rules. He did me a joker and two dusty stars. I told him that Pete (the one who asked for the sketches of some) was a big fan of his and demanded that I take a piece of him with me to send to Pete so he can build a shrine. Strangely enough, he refused to part with a part of himself. Oh well. Pete can't complain cause he got the sketches and I even stood in LINE (ack!) for his Ed McGuiness Fighting American sketch at the Awesome booth he requested. I can't BELIEVE I did that. Ed was nice though and very young. Batt was there signing Ascension among others. He seemed annoyed when people kept asking him where Finch was cause the con promoters messed up and promoted Finch as supposed to be there when he never was supposed to be there. I figure it was that Finch heard I was coming and decided to check himself into the local witness protection program. Wuss! I'll just have to be sneakier next time is all.

Along the way, I had found Mike, Duda, Jenny and Chapman (with some of his friends.) They decided to check out Mr. Randy Queen among others who were doing sketches and autographs. Mr. Green is cool and VERY talented. I like his stuff. I remembered his stuff from back when he was with Wildstorm and a back cover he did of Cavewoman. He has improved SO much since then. There Ms. Jenny (the new pin-up goddess) was asked by Mr. Linsner to cover over to his table where he proceeded to ask her to model for him sometime. Course Jenny must be used to stuff being who she is and agreed (though she seemed to go into shock, blushing a lot after we walked away...duda and me comforted her as much as we could till she got through this "trying" experience). Duda will be going with her to protect the bod from the fellow if he finally realizes the goddess is too much for him. (Though I want to know who will protect duda?)

By the time the con was closing, we found ourselves back at the Topcow booth. We are like a virus, we keep coming back. I think they try to hide from us by having this line of people standing all around, but we can smell the herd in there. Being the predators we are, we close in for the kill too late cause they have "capped" off the line. Chapman and Mike managed to get sketches from Mr. Turner (who looked like he was ready to fall asleep any second...I was impressed he didn't.) While everyone watched him do so, I took off after hearing that Brandon Peterson had FINALLY arrived (I missed him at the Awesome booth Saturday) and was told he was doing autographs and even sketches. I found him at the Wildstorm Emporium where he was doing a sketch (how can something that detailed be a sketch??) of glory for someone. I watched him do it for awhile, but decided to leave him alone as the con was SO close to closing and there was no way I was going to press him for a sketch. With the way he puts so much effort into them he would have been there AFTER the con closed and maybe late for a flight or something. I figure I shall grab him next time if I have to go through people. (I knew I should have brought my bat.)

After that, I watched Duda and Jenny scam some goodies and saying bye to some people, we proceeded to take our loot to the hotel. Sometime during this time we also went and ate dinner where are little orange giraffes did odd things to each other that I think might be against the law. Especially in a food joint. We tried to keep them apart but they kept reconnecting by sliding across the table. They needed each other and who were we to keep them away from each other? They might hurt us.

After that we prepared for the night that we all have been waiting for....the Vanilla Ice Concert at some dance club. Seems a lot of people were there for the same reason we were...to be amused. He was late anyway...and during this time while we waited, we had the misfortune of gaining a fan who wanted all three of us. First he wanted to dance (man, from what I saw of his "moves" I don't know if I would call that dancing) then tried his luck at asking for something else. We were all duly impressed with his charm, wit and grace. So impressed that we all said no. Problem was he seemed a bit slow brain-wise for someone so "money" or a player. It took various ways of using the word no as well as finally just glaring at him (duda was particularly good at this) that he finally went and harassed some other poor girl. After that, I tried to fall asleep at the table till Ice came back. (Told ya I was tired...who else can sleep with music blaring so loud that it was causing vibrations through the seat and all.) I was fully alert when Mr. Iceman himself appeared on stage. It was...interesting. He actually has tattoos and should have his new album out by now. I was highly impressed with the song he dedicated to the "lovely ladies out there." "Lick his ice cream cone." Uhhuh...right. The song Ice Ice Baby was the highlight of it all. Cheesiness revisited can be such a swell thing. After this, we vamoosed before the rabid masses in there could infect us and left for the hotel again where more things happened not fit for mere mortals to hear about before I made me good-byes to the goddesses with hopes that I might be able to get them in a room for the whole weekend at whichever con I can. Heh, I got plans...um...maybe I should shut up though on that part!

I called a cab and luck would have it, got one who was a comic nut from India. He didn't know that there had been a con in Florida and was HIGHLY distressed to find there had been that same day. I felt sorry for him and gave him one of my glory previews and the unsigned Fathom poster. He gave me his cellular # to call him to let him know where all the cons were as well as to keep in touch. He also is a big Batman fan. Though I think he was lying when he said he had a story that was accepted by DC but will be published in five years. But he knew his comics, I will give him that.

After that, I proceeded to DIE as it was early morning and I had time till my flight.

Flight back home. I got a window seat so I wouldn't annoy anyone looking over them all the time out the window. I pretty much fell asleep with my face against the glass till the flight attendant woke me up asking if I wanted something to drink. Heh, she didn't realize I was asleep till I jerked when she touched me. I decided to let everyone live and let the pilots continue unmolested. I shall try to fly the next plane I get on when I go to the next Con. I do believe that one would be Chicago. Anyway, I had work to do on making the online people who didn't go jealous by being nice enough to brag about it! >:)

So Mandi says hey Jenn! How about a diary? And since I know that I am such a fascinating person that y'all will hang on my every typed word, here goes...

So it all starts on

when I was to fly down, two full days before the convention. I thought that I was getting such a bonus deal, with some supercheap $150 airfare, but I really got screwed in it all having to go so much earlier and pay to sleep there...dah. So Allan said that he'd bring me to the train station. So I am to meet him in front of Cumnock Hall and he'll drive me up. Bastard never showed. Turns out he showed around 1:30 or some such nonsense, and my train was at 12:00.

But I made it there, and then I guess that all TWA flights sucked that day or something and I got booted onto Continental (the root of all airline evil). But I made it there, and after a horrible wait for a freaking taxi or some such thing, I was at the hotel, in the room by 10:30, and terribly bored. Bored Bored Bored.

So I slept. And at 9:00 am stupid housekeeping walks into the room to clean. I'm like "get the fuck out of my room, you moron!" and I bolt the door. Cranky, I decide to take a shower, Which is precisely when Mandi shows up, and the room is all bolted and she can't get in. Oops. suck suck suck.

So now at least I'm bored *with* someone. So we walk around, knowing that there HAS to be food somewhere, and find ourselves in Church Street Station. Neat little mall things with neat stores. We buy beads and Kevin Spacey pictures and go to check out the food court. It sucks. So we wander some more and find a Hooters, which Mandi has never been to. Assuring her that there will be no naked waitresses, we head in for some buffalo thingys. Our waitress was a moron. We shop some more and head back.

We're bored. So we get spanktervision Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, a quality Kevin Spacey movie that we both missed in the theaters. Medium movie. Not John Cusak's best. Great transvestite. And now it's like 9 or something. I'm hungry. Well, I'm really just bored, but wouldn't pancakes be great when you're bored? So I read the hotel thingy and notice that there's an IHOP around. I love IHOP. IHOP is one of the two places that I'll get coffee, which I don't care for much. I'm a tea sort of gal. (the other is Dunkin Donuts, by the way.) So we walk for hours trying to find this place that the woman on the phone tells me is RIGHT up the street. We realize that we're in the ghetto of Orlando, admire the nice prostitutes next to Cheap Charlie's Antique Emporium, and head to Angel's, the diner thing in the hotel. Medium food. Great waiter that loved us and ate my bacon. (No, you sickos. My food came with bacon. I hate bacon. He ate it. That's that.)

After that? Still bored. Head to bed. Read some (Robert Jordan books!) and turn out the light.

Jenny can't sleep. Jenny reads in the bathroom so as not to waken Mandi. Jenny finally drops to sleep at around 5am. Happy day when we wake up at 9! ick ick ick. Shower, dress, head to Expo Centre. Bob Carr, you know.

And we're early. We read the cheap tabloid Fathom cover program, decide that there are many panels on Saturday that we will attend, and wait some more. We admire the nice geek selection going into the gaming center. We wait some more. We watch some woman wander aimlessly trying to find the entrance. We laugh. She notices and thinks that we might know where to go. We direct her to Boston (give or take a few blocks). We notice some dork in a really ugly Dawn tee-shirt with skinny legs and glasses. We figure he's a gaming dork. We head to line.

Line is long. Our badge is queer with this lame elf looking thing. I guess he's like the Sunquest mascot or something. I think that he sucks my white ass. The nice armband is swell too. I'm not sure what the badge was for. We needed a new armband every day. Finally we get in, and no one is there. Topcow isn't set up. Wizard has bags that we take, as well as nice Witchblade posters. We walk around a bit. Lots of stuff to be had, but not much that we really want. The only things that I'm looking for are a Drama ACE and Transmetropolitan #'s 1 and 2. Mandi is looking for some dah Stormwatch issues. We scan the area fairly quickly and think wow. Three more days of this.

We meet up with Brandon Peterson and David Wohl, and they say hi, and Brandon takes off to go somewhere. David tags along while we examine the poor showing at the artshow. We critique everything and leave, realizing that there is nothing that we would ever even consider spending money on, and little that we would take for free. Mark Poole had some nice things that I'd get for Allan. That's about it. We talked about things to do for ToTW and walked around the artists section to try to find people to become cow lackeys. We suggested a painted ToTW. David Mack? I guess that sort of thing is expensive. So we thought of people that we'd like to see do ToTW things, and suggested mostly writers. I'd personally love to see a nice Frank Miller Witchblade, but I don't think that he'd ever do it. Maybe though.

We walk around with David some more and he stops to talk to people. We feel rightly ditched and mosey on off. I guess that we actually were supposed to be around so that he could introduce us to Mr. Muckety Muck, but we didn't. Oops. We went to the Dreamsmith Studios booth and chilled with Ben Capozzi and his Dad, who was nice. I bought the blasted preview that I've been wanting for so long, and took some retailer packs to pass out to local stores. Should have taken the retailer packs later. Damned heavy shit. We wandered around some more, and found a neat moviephoto place that they often have at conventions. I got a gorgeous Antonio Banderas print at the last one that my roommates gouged this semester. Bitches. Bitches and hoes. So I bought another Kevin Spacey photo, a nice Han Solo photo, a nice Princess Bride photo, and some neat postcards of the Usual Suspects and Wonder Woman. I also bought Dave Wohl a postcard of Leonardo DiCaprio. I gathered that he likes hairless boys.

Dave caught back up with us around the Awesome booth, and I grabbed free Glory poster. Some lackey that David doesn't like much gave him a free Glory preview and he gave it to me, because I really wanted it and he didn't. I gave him the Leonardo postcard and he seemed to really like it. I was glad that I had spend the thirty cents or so, because he seemed really appreciative. Good acting or no, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Mandi promised to try to forge a "To Dave, my biggest fan, Love Leo" signature later on. He had to split, and Mandi and I moseyed a bit.

We decided to wait in line to get our somethings signed by Brandon Peterson, and while in line, I remembered that we were supposed to be watching out for David Chapman. I was reminded of this when I saw this guy with a huge Witchblade statue box. And I was like oh yeah! David Chapman, and Mandi was like yeah, I think that's him, actually. He gimped over, talked to us a little, and wandered off, having just waited in line for Brandonthings.

Brandon talked to us at length of his plans for things with Glory (which he had really been enjoying), Alan Moore's witch things (I guess the guy's a witch or something), and future plans for Arcanum. We had him sign a Glory poster and our BOOK previews (fantasy lovers, eh?), and I watched obvious retailers purchase things and have them signed for markup. I really like Brandon Peterson, and I think that his luck just sucks. I hope that he gets some work soon. He has so much energy...Then some stupid woman asked me if the envelopes (remember those damned heavy 10 retailer packs I was lugging around? Actually, I think that by this time I'd successfully foisted them on Mandi...) were my comic and I thought she was going to tackle me because she thought that I was important. I assured her that I was no one, and she walked away disappointed. Moron.

We bought some things. Actually, on that first day, we bought a lot. I convinced Mandi to buy Blood Lust #s 1 and 2 for $1 each. I wasted a full dollar on Codename: Strykeforce #14 (first Turner art! Looks just like a Silvestri clone!), of which I now have two, because I think that I bought it for 1.80 from AE. Mandi also purchased the rare Linsner variant to FF Fantasy Illustrated (which I regret not buying, it was really nice, and I'm probably going to try to pick one up at a future convention), and I bought lots at the CBLDF booth. Nice Miller print, and a that really funny Cerebus as Spawn print. I crack up every time that I see that. Funny shit. I spoke at length with CBLDF boy about some sort of ULowell coalition thing. We might do something next semester to promote awareness.

I found the Larry Elmore booth, and he seemed to be well and alive. I bought some postcards of "the Death of Sturm" which was a fantastically emotional piece of Laurana. I had him sign and personalize the cards: one for me, one for Karl and one for Allan. While I was standing there, Bob Elmore, Larry's cousin, was like do you like to read? And dumb me, yep, I do. So I got suckered into a book for six bucks that he had written, and it was pretty good. I read it when I got home, and damned if I didn't start to get really into it. Not bad. Plus, Bob seemed a nice guy. Cashing in on his cousin's fame and fortune, but a nice enough guy.

We got free isz at the McFarlane toy booth. I asked for Isz, remembering the bag o' isz that I was so unsuccessful in buying because I couldn't figure out how to join the fan club, and I mean do you have a bag of isz that I can buy. The dude fished out two isz, one for me and one for Mandi, and not being one to refuse free isz, I wandered off again. We got lots of Spawn stickers for free. We decided to check out the Topcow booth again, and there was a really long signing line. We picked up some free Fathom shit, promised to give Dave Wohl a call, and headed back to the hotel. We dropped off our stuffs, and headed out to eat.

I planned small meal since we were supposed to call David afterwards. We went to the Olive Garden, which is really good in Attleboro, and really bad in Orlando. I eyed the Chianti that I wanted, but I'm on a big no liquor for the rest of my life kick and decided no. I ate way too much. We wandered the shoppes some (saco del toro! saco del toro!) and went to the hotel. It was early, but remember how much sleep I didn't get the night before? I ruined Mandi's night and went to sleep. Oh well.

Up bright and early to go to panels! I mean, that's all that there really was to do today. But we walked around some, because the show opened at 10 (and we were there! right after java express!), and I bought my Dawn ACE. Then we walked around some more and realized that the David Mack line and Linsner line were really short. Much shorter than the Rob Liefeld line. That really said a lot to me about the quality of the fans here at Megacon '98. So we waited, and David Mack had nice prints for sale cheap at 2/$10. David Chapman tried to wrestle me to pay for my prints and I was like no. I'll pay, thanks dad. He didn't have the prints that I really wanted, so maybe at SDCC? Then I had Linsner sign my ACE, which I love. And he asked me if I had been to San Diego, since he thought that he remembered me. I was duly flattered, and said that I had. He nodded, and seemed tired and a little cranky (I was too, at eleven in the morning) and we moved on...time for panels!

The Boris and Julie panel was good. I hadn't ever seen/heard of Julie Bell and I was like wow! that's that blonde chick that he paints! I gather that's that blonde chick that he (ahem)s too. There was some annoying kid behind us yammering about Batman. I guess he follows Boris and Julie to every convention known to man and pesters them about the same thing. They always say no, but he just doesn't get it. Moron. The panel was nice, I just didn't have anything to say to them. But I wanted a picture of me with Boris, so I listened to Megacon lackey about signing things and made my plans.

I scoped out a nice seat for the Top Cow panel. I stood right next to the people that were attempting to vacate their Boris and Julie seats and glared at any people who thought that *they* might be sitting in the front row. We scanned our Fathom previews and waited. David was the first (and for a while, the only) person to be on the panel. We wondered if this might be the same thing as the Silvestri panel at San Diego. Similar, I'd imagine. So he asked us if we had any questions, and I asked if there would be any more stingrays in Fathom. There's a nice stingray in the preview. He said yes. Many aquatic things. He chastened us a bit for not calling him. I shrugged, and attempted to explain his relative importance to sleep. Sr. Smith and Sr. Turner showed up to talk.

There were some good questions to be had. Lots on Fathom, and what was planned. A bit on Witchblade and who was slated to take over. A few comments on Mat Broome's "effort" at Witchblade (but he's a buddy of Turner's so don't say anything to him!). Kate Sherwood showed up and tried to regulate the discussion (which I thought was wholly unnecessary...Sr. Wohl was doing a grand job of it). I raised my hand with an attempt at civility toward Sr. Smith and his recolouring of the Darkness #3 poster. I was not pleased. He cringed and attempted to hide from me behind Sr. Turner. Poor bastard. I was unrelenting, and it was fun to watch them all try to foist the blame onto someone else. It turned out to be the new devil incarnate, Peter Steigerwald. Kate tried to make nice and tell me how much I should like the new colouring job, and I gave her a nice long flat look. I made sure that the whole panel was encompassed by my nice long flat look. All in all, a good panel. David was really funny. He kept making these little comments under his breath at the morons in the audience. Things like "do you give JD Smith directions when he colours?" and replies like "yeah, water's blue." I laughed.

After the panel, I heard a big fat Jenny? And lo and behold, Sharon had actually shown up. I lost my bet. But Mandi lost too. I'm not sure who would have paid out if we had won. We wandered the small press bits with her, I think. From here to the next panel is a little bit fuzzy for me. I think that we probably wandered around some more. I think that George Perez was doing CBLDF sketches, but I didn't want to wait in line for a sketch of Wonder Woman. That man scared me, I think. Very weird.

Then we went upstairs to wait for the Working alone with Linsner, Hayes, and Moran (Horan? Moron?) panel. The Chaos comics (scary people!) took too damned long and cut into our precious panel time. And then Rob the Man was late so we had to wait for him. I didn't have much of a concept of what I should ask, so I didn't. We learned that Linsner had planned another card set for the summer, which is good. I liked the first one. And he asked about the 1/2: did everyone like it? The whole panel was like yeah! Kissasses. I shook my head and he caught that and pointed at me YOU! Yeah, you shook your head, now why didn't you like it? So I had no answer. And I successfully diverted his attention to Mandi, who had probably a better answer than I did, so I could think. Diplomacy at its best. Mandi didn't like it because it was solicited as Linsner art. I didn't like it because it was my second Dawn book, and I didn't get it. Good forum for the story, bad art. And then some guy said something like "what size..." and there was this big pause, and I was like no. He's not going to ask that question is he? "...paper do you work on?" I mean, it's a panel about working alone. I just got this horrible case of the giggles and nearly died laughing. And Mandi and I fed off of each other, which wasn't so good. So when Drew finished talking about the size...paper he used, Linsner was like YOU! What are you laughing about? So I told him. He laughed, and the guy who was the root of all of this evil was duly offended. Moron. The panel was over, and I waited for a picture with Linsner. He was soft and squishy. His girlfriend/sister (they looked alike) had a lot of perfume on. So we went downstairs. David Wohl met us on his way out and was like hey! Go look at Randy Green's stuff and tell me what you think for a ToTW? I was like okay. So we did. Good stuff, and I'm ordering the Shi that he's working on. I guess he's working on Buffy the Vampire Slayer next for Dark Horse, and I'll buy that too. Mr. Green was nice. And in the middle of this, Linsner came over and was like Jenny? Can I speak to you when you're done here? I said yes, and looked at Mandi. We were like eh? But we finished up and headed over.

He was signing something for some fan, and we waited. I was a bit scared of what he might ask me for. Especially if it was something that I wasn't willing to give, eh? So he looks at me and says "I'd really like to draw you sometime." I think that I recovered nicely with an "of course." He took my info down and such, I thanked him, and we left. I think that I blushed. I think that my neck blushed. I'm pretty sure that my knees blushed. I felt very cool. Mandi just kept telling me that she loved me. (As an aside, he still hasn't called. I intend to upbraid him thoroughly the next time I see him.)

So pretty much the convention is over for the day and we head on home. Sharon comes with us and we make plans to call David to head out somewhere to get something to eat. (No, really this time we mean it.) So we call both Davids and head over to the hotel to meet them. On the way, we see Rob Liefeld sitting in the lobby of the Holiday Inn...just sitting there. Poor guy. No life. So we go to the other hotel and we wait in the lobby for a really long time and watch people come and go. There goes Linsner and Hayes. There's Jim McLauchlin. There's Sr. Smith. And here we are sitting like dorks in the lobby for a...really long time. Finally David comes down, and Derek Gonzales, all around Top Cow lackey, joins us for some reason. He didn't seem pleased to be joining us, and that not pleased appearance did not change all night. He was the crankyboi of the evening. I'm not sure if he just didn't know us, or if he just didn't like us. We ate at Uno's, and he had lots of Long Island Iced Teas. Mandi had bad margaritas, and David, who had just realized from some $1 fortune teller that honeydew was his lucky fruit, had a melon margarita to enhance his luck. I'm not sure if it worked. So we went to the arcade after that, and for info on that whole affair, see the photo section of this site. Lots of arcade photos.

After that we...wandered. This is two for two that after dinner with David we've...wandered. He was looking for this really happening club that was a huge gay bar until two and then a great techno joint after that. I was willing to go, but the other males in the group seemed sketchy on the gaybar thing. Hey, at least I'm secure in my sexuality. So we run into some guy Matt that works at Wizard. He's some Jim McLauchlin lackey. He tried to talk to us, after I ascertained that he was the moron that asked me the stupid trivia question earlier on Friday. It was a pick your category thing, so I said Top Cow. And he was like "um. Name four ongoing titles." I was like they don't have four. Unless you count quarterlies. And they blanked and were like well, okay. So I hooked them up with the four and the coming soons, and got a ToTW 1/2 gold foil thing for my efforts. I hate gold foil. So I don't know what I'm going to do with it. So Matt talked to us for a while and then got scared and left. I'm not sure if it was because we were nobody important (he figured we were Top Cow lackeys too, I guess), or if it was because we started talking about saco del toro. He ditched us for Derek, who was really happy to see him, I guess. David told us that we should have pretended to be someone, and next time I'll assume my proper title of working for the interactive division of Top Cow. Which I do, in a fashion. But I actually don't, so I reserve that title to impress irritating fans and customers that I dislike. And then they worship me, giving me the fun of snubbing them.

So Matt knew this "crazy piano bar" that we should go to, which was right next to Uno's. Dah. But the crazy piano bar was 21+, so I was going to go home alone, but I guess that Mandi and Sharon and David didn't actually want to go, so they used "Jenny's young" as some grand excuse. No crazy piano bar for me. I'm not sure that David Wohl actually wanted to go, because he almost accompanied us home. Poor man, we insisted that he stay. Derek had already gone inside. So we went home. Big loss. And I kicked Sharon out of our room and went to sleep.

Last day! Slow day. Got up, showered, and headed to Church Street to find food and java. We bought icecream breakfast (dumb move on my part) and went to the bookstore to try to replace the book that David had lost the night before. He had bought The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan on our recommendation, and then misplaced it at the arcade. The store had no more copies left. We tried. Then we headed to conventionland. Nothing new to see. So we waited in the topcow line to get the Fathom poster signed. I bought a Darkness #7 variant to get Sr. Smith to sign it. And Mandi got a nice Joe Siry card to be signed. Fun Fun Fun. We found Sharon, Mikey, and David so we chilled while waiting in line. I looked at Mikey's sketches which were nice. The Linsner sketch, while just like every sketch that I had seen, was nice. And I gather that Sr. Turner had promised to sketch for him later. So we got signed things, and Derek accosted me with a big hug and lots of apologies for abandoning us to the crazy piano bar. It was fucking weird. I would never have thought that it was the same person. Like this happy huggy person was not the cranky person that seemed so upset to be with us the night before. But who knows? Perhaps that was just his warming up night or something. Or maybe he was still feeling the love of too many Long Island Iced Teas. Who knows?

So as we were wandering, we walked back by Top Cow and David handed us the Spirit of the Tao previews that I had asked for. I've been looking forward to this book for a long time, and I really wanted a preview. So we went somewhere to read them. And what did we miss while we were reading? Turner sketching. Shit on us. And while I know that if I had really wanted to, I could have pushed my way into line, winked at Derek, my new friend, and gotten a nice Ian sketch, it wasn't worth it. Turner stayed a good 1/2 hour after he needed to leave and it was fun to just watch him sketch. I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed watching him try to sketch Pierce Brosnan. Little Mikey wanted 007. We were trying to help him with little "make him look like Bruce and have hair like Dannette" hints. It worked, kinda. I guess with a stretch of the imagination, you'd know it was James Bond. He tried to do an little 007 logo with a gun for the seven, but the gun was facing the wrong way. I was amused. I was also a little uncomfortable with people asking for sketches, but that was okay.

So now the convention is over. Where do we go? Awwwwww yeah. A Vanilla Ice concert. Listening to cheesy house music for four hours waiting for him was so worth it. He was so pathetic. And I damned near fell off of my seat laughing when Ice Ice Baby came on. What a great story.

Home...bed...

I decided to go back a day early. I paid the fee and changed my flight. I checked the airport bookstore to make sure that David had bought the book. And I had a horrible 12 hour traveling day. I was on some horrible little prop flight from JFK to Boston. It was awful. And then I got on the wrong train home and ended up in Franklin. And everyone was so mean. But it was over, and I got to look at all of my neat stuff when I got home. I had a lot of neat stuff.

Over all? Good trip. Good enough to make it an annual thing. Try to go, if you can...